Awaken To Joy

Anger: Rise Above

"We truly believe you can rise up above anger. That is not to say we rise up above all of our anger. We are still human and, as such, anger will appear. But with a higher consciousness, we are able to see more perspectives; we understand more, therefore we are able to choose different avenues than anger. After all, traffic is merely a whole bunch of cars going the same direction you are; a slow line at the grocery store is just other people who are also buying groceries for their families; and children make mistakes all the time, as do we all. " ~ Awaken to Joy program

Today, at least for today, think of yourself as a better person. The kind of person who can put yourself in another person's shoes and imagine what they must be going through. Right now, in this world, there are a lot of people who are hurting. They are hurting because they are afraid. They are hurting because they are hungry. They are hurting because they are confused and don't know what will happen next. Take stock of your life and be grateful for everything you do have. Step away from your pride and ego and let yourself be the calm one or the compassionate one. Be the one that helps another human being simply because you can.

Humans have a tremendous ability to rush to the aid of others in traumatic situations- a baby in a well, hurricane victims, cancer patients, plane crashes. Yet if we don't visibly see the source of suffering we allow ourselves to get irritated if people don't act the way we want them to. Enough is enough. Just for today reach out to someone, ANY ONE. Be a better person than you normally are.

Fear: Creating Personal Power

Creating Personal Power has a little to do with getting beyond Fear. One of the things I'm doing is actively seeking out things that push me out of my comfort zone. I didn't realize how challenging that would prove to be.

First, I have to find these things. Great discussions have ensued. Challenges have been suggested. Lists have been made. I've determined that this means I have to find things that, A. Do make me a little fearful, B. Are things that I am, in fact, remotely interested in, and C. Things that are feasible, for the most part.

For example, sky diving is something I am somewhat afraid of. Maybe I would do it, yet I've also determined it is something I am not the least bit interested in. It would probably cost more than I'm willing to pay. If I die 60 years from now without ever having gone sky diving, I will still die contented. I'm not sure sky diving would support my growth, nor am I sure it would bring me strength and power.

One of the things on my list is to skate in an Inline Skating Marathon in September. Inline skating is something I used to do a lot. Since having kids I haven't done it very much. I exercise very frequently, but to do a marathon I'd have to increase my strength and stamina plus get reacquainted with my skates. It won't cost me that much and it is something I'm a little nervous about doing. Check, check, check.

Most of us avoid things we are fearful of. Like the plague. Or sky diving. This is a good thing. For the most part. Yet, sometimes it is good to examine our fears and determine if they really are necessary. Fear is a learned behavior. Fear is a learned emotion. Often times something happened to condition us to fear. Or everyone else does it so we do too. Like snakes. Why does everyone hate snakes?

Do you really know what you are afraid of? Do you know why? Can you break free from the bonds of your own Fear? For me, Personal Power is about building the strength, internal and external, to handle anything that comes my way. To realize my fears and determine their validity. To dismiss them as unwarranted or decide I'm going to keep moving anyway. I want to be fearless. There is no joy in hiding anymore.

Fear: The Great Blue Unknown

Fear of the unknown. Isn't that really at the root of most fears? I mean, that's the entire future of everything! Unknown, that is. It's called worry and it has to do with concern for anything that hasn't happened yet. Or really the imagined future. What if... this and what if... that. What if, indeed.

Does this fear hold you back? Are you not doing something because of a fear? Do you worry too much? Then you need a Moving Through Fear guide book. I haven't written it yet, but I imagine it would look something like this.

Chapter 1. Fear is everywhere. You could be afraid of everything. Anything can kill you at anytime without warning. Get over it.

Chapter 2. If you succumb to your fears you will not do anything. You will live a boring life. In fact it's pretty much impossible to not do anything. Most people probably couldn't if they tried. Lie on the floor all day. Is that what you really want?

Chapter 3. Decide which fears you can live with and which you can't. Do you really need to be around snakes? Can you avoid living where earthquakes happen? Who said you need to jump out of an airplane? Eating food and exercising - yes. Going out in public - probably. Speaking in public - maybe. Using public restrooms - optional. Pick your battles.

Chapter 4. Worrying doesn't change anything. It's a waste of time. Especially if it's over and done with (yes, I know people who worry about things that have already happened!) You may think you can't help yourself. You can. Trust me, waste of time. You have better things to do.

Chapter 5. Fear just keeps you small and limited. You were meant for bigger and better things. You want bigger and better, right? Or would you be willing to admit you want small and insignificant?

Chapter 6. Fear makes you do things you normally wouldn't do. Think about animals. When in fear, say cornered, they will bite, scratch, attack, maim, kill their own babies, push others off a ledge, gnaw their own leg off. Oh wait, I guess humans do that too. I think you can find a better way than gnawing your leg off, don't you?

Chapter 7. There is no such thing as NO FEAR, despite the brand name to the contrary. Without fear you would be paralyzed. So, just to be clear -you can live without worry, you can't live without fear.

Chapter 8. Now that you know you can't get rid of it altogether, figure out a way to move beyond it, through it, past it. It's called Courage. The people who have lived through the most fear have the most courage.

Chapter 9. In order to move through fear, find something more important than the fear. Your friends, your family, your children. How about yourself? YOUR livelihood. YOUR well-being. YOUR sanity. YOUR happiness. Isn't THAT worth it?

Chapter 10. Now, get out there and GO!

Words: The Power of Words

“The words we say do matter and they resonate powerfully within our bodies.” (-Gormukh Kaur Khalsa, an internationally-renowned yoga teacher and author)

I have recently begun to understand on a much deeper level the effect our words have on us. Recently I have been studying the work of Masaru Emoto. Mr. Emoto used high-speed photography to discover that crystals formed in frozen water are affected by our thoughts, words, and feelings. From what I understand, he simply labeled containers of water with various words, positive and negative, then quick-froze them and photographed the crystals that formed. The results are nothing less than truly amazing and life changing.

The crystals formed with words such as hope, love, gratitude, peace, harmony, are incredibly beautiful, jewel-like crystals. Those crystals formed with words such as "no good", "you fool", "do it", hate, fear, etc, are grotesque and almost nightmarish crystals.

Now translate that information to your body. You are around 70 percent water. Let me again repeat the quote for today: “The words we say do matter and they resonate powerfully within our bodies.” What do the water molecules in your body reflect?

Check out more of Mr. Emoto's work on his website.

Finally, you can learn more about his research through his books:
The Hidden Messages in Water
The Shape of Love

His work is also discussed in the movie What the Bleep

I always knew words were important. I listen to the negativity often used in the vernacular in our society and I know how much it affects me. Choose differently. Mr. Emoto's work will change who you are through the language you choose. It is powerful and wonderful!

Anger: Think you don't ever get angry, huh?

I find that I get irritated or impatient a lot.  I've been working on it awhile (in this great program called Awaken to Joy!) and have made great strides.  Initially when I determined that anger was an issue for me I spent some time and got to the heart of it.  Why was I angry?  That was tremendously helpful.  Even if you can't change the causes of your anger, acknowledging what it us that is triggering those feelings can help you to move through whatever it is you are going through. 

After that process I found I still had a lot of anger like feelings.  I say "like" because it wasn't strong or obvious anger.  I was irritated, impatience, frustrated, annoyed.  These are what we refer to as derivatives, other emotions or feelings along the anger spectrum.  Maybe you never thought of these as related to anger?  They could be less strong anger feelings, or it could anger coming out differently specific to the situation.  For example, my kids tend to be slower than I want when getting ready to go someplace.  I may be concerned about getting to work on time.  I don't get really angry because I know they are not deliberately trying to cause an issue for me.  I also don't get really angry because I love them and don't want to hurt them.  But I do get frustrated and this frustration may come out as a stern tone, or strong words or even some yelling. 

It helps to know to know the related emotions and feelings to any strong emotion, be it anger, or sadness or even love.  You may say, "I don't get angry" when you still get jealous or irritated or resentful.  Just because you call it a feathered, waddling, flying animal doesn't mean it isn't also a duck. 

But why does this matter?  Expression, baby.  I had an encounter with someone once who said that she didn't get angry, or at least that anger wasn't a predominant emotion.  That may be true, but anger being one of our primary emotions it's one that's worth some exploration.  Ever try to find a house by driving down every street in town hoping that you'll run into it eventually?  The same thing can happen with your emotions.  You feel bad, you feel stressed, you struggle in relationships and you explore every path except potentially the one that can get to the root of the issue.  You cry, you berate yourself, you withdraw, you beg and plead.  You struggle to keep a happy face and rise above.  What you may be missing, is just getting good and mad.  This doesn't mean beating up the neighbor.  You can be mad without hurting anyone, including yourself.  It may be as simple as that acknowledgment.  Yes, I'm angry. 
Once you've found the house (or called it a duck!) you can let it go, say you've been there, and move on searching for another more lovely house, one called compassion.

Love: The Source of All Violence

Intrigued?  I had a wonderful discussion group last week during which we discussed anger and its derivatives.  One participant said she had been pondering the source of all violence.  She, herself, had experienced a considerable amount of anger in the past year and she was wondering if there was a connection between the source her anger and the source of all other types of anger, from a simple irritation to the wars between nations.

 

Many ideas came out of the discussion.  One person thought about attachment.  Much of our violence stems from an attachment we have to land, material goods, and, even more so, to our ideas and beliefs.  We hold strong and feel threatened when another has another idea.

 

Another participant considered a lack of self-love as a source of anger.  If we can’t love ourselves, we cannot love and respect another.  And, remember, judgment is not love.  When we are judging ourselves or another, we are not in a loving space.

 

Still others considered hopelessness and helplessness as a source.

 

Then I came across this quote from Donna Farhi that seemed to encompass everything we were saying:

 

“[What we need to restrain is] ...our inherent tendency to see ourselves as separate.  It is this inherent tendency that causes us to act outside our true nature.  When there is an 'other,' it becomes possible to do things such as stealing because we falsely believe that what happens to another is not our concern.  But when there is a sense of unity, who is there to steal from but ourselves?  When we feel connected to others, we find that we are naturally compassionate, [and] 'non-harming' is not something we strive to be but something that we are.  We see the essence of ourselves in the other and realize that the tenderness and forgiveness we so wish to have extended toward us is something that all humans long for." (-Donna Farhi)

 

We definitely feel negative from attachment or a lack of self-love or helplessness and hopelessness, but a feeling of oneness underlies those issues.  If you feel the unity of all you act in your true nature.  Your true nature is full of self-love and completely unattached to things and ideas. Your true nature never feels hopeless or helpless because it knows you are neither hopeless or helpless.

 

Strive to connect with others and notice the compassion flourish in your heart.

Love: Fear or love?

We are reading the Magic Tree House series of books to our children.  They are wonderful fantasy books with lovely lessons in them.  In the latest one, Merlin the Magician tells them on their next mission to “be sure to answer the question from love not fear.”  They then face a frightening sea serpent who asks them a question.  The question has two answers to it the one that comes from fear is their first inclination, especially with the scariness in front of them.  But then they remember Merlin’s advice and come from love.  Interestingly, the serpent turns out to be a friend, someone who was scary just to protect himself.

 

I loved that lesson and have been thinking about it ever since.  I have found it quite interesting how often a quick response to something (almost anything) can come from fear rather than love.  When I am aware enough to notice it, I stop myself and shift to love.  The response is much different from a place of love.   I have also noticed how much I change what I am seeing in front of me when I am coming from a place of love.  Suddenly it isn’t so big and definitely not as scary.  My heart opens to compassion.

Love: So simple

I would like to continue on my thought from last week, being able to accept love.  Being able to accept love gives others an opportunity to give and increase their love.  Of course, receiving the benefits of giving love isn’t contingent upon others accepting your gift.  It is much more satisfying, though, to give when the gift is received well.

 

So, here is my thought.  This example is so simple it is almost silly, but it represents the idea so eloquently.  How does it feel to you when you thank someone and they respond, “ah forget it.  It was nothing.”  Compared to someone who looks you in the eye and sends you a heart-felt, “you’re welcome?” 

 

I was at the library the other day and someone held the door open for me.  Because of this Module, I have been very aware of my thank yous.  I sent the person a heart-felt, “thank you” instead of the usual “thank you” that is more rote than from the heart.  I actually caught the man off guard.  He stopped and looked at me and sent me the warmest, “you’re welcome.”  I knew in that moment that we had made a soul connection.  It was powerful.  I felt myself uplifted for hours afterward and I am sure he did too.  So simple.

 

How do you receive “thank yous”?  How do you send “thank yous”?  Here is a wonderful opportunity to connect with others in love.

 

Love: Accepting Love

One of the main ways of expanding our capacity to love (and perhaps the only way) is to give love; to help others.  Although we all “know” this in our heads, have you thought about one of its corollaries?  Are you someone who has a hard time accepting help from others?

 

I had an interesting email from one of YLC participants.  She told me how she clearly experiences love when she is helping others.  She mentioned all sorts of ways she gains enjoyment from helping her friends and family and it is something she has always known about herself.  She also knew that she has a hard time accepting help from others.  There is something in her that keeps her from asking, and receiving assistance. 

 

Her learning point for the month was realizing the effect of not accepting help on others.  She is, in effect, robbing others of having an opportunity to expand their capacity to love.  Interesting thought, isn’t it?  When you think about it in these terms, perhaps it will be easier for you to accept help. 

 

Spiritual Practice: Shifting the Shower

I realized about two years ago that I used my time showering in the morning to think about my fears and get myself adrenalized for the day.  I found I actually felt better on days when I didn’t shower until later in the day since I wasn’t “setting” myself up for fear and negativity. 

 

I decided to change what I did with my shower time.  (I am amazed at how long it took me to shift the behavior, the thoughts were so ingrained!)  I now use the time to do mindful meditation and choose positive thoughts of inspiration, setting myself up for a day of love and compassion.  It also creates eagerness for all of the wonderful things I anticipate occurring in my life (rather worrying about the terrible things that could happen.)  What a change in my day!