Laura Erdman-Luntz, MA, E-RYT(500) | Yoga | Yoga Teacher Training | Minnesota | Costa Rica | Life Coaching

Your Story

 

One of the greatest gifts of learning about manifesting is you finally learn that you are the creator of your story, your life. You get to write it. Much of your life so far (and perhaps all) has been based on the stories others told you and you believed. Some stories were wonderful and therefore you thrive in those areas. Most of the stories were limiting and have only served us by keeping us small in those areas of our life.

I recently learned first hand of the power of our stories. It seems like it is such an insignificant story, but it represents something so much larger for me. I love coffee. I love the smell and the taste. I stopped drinking coffee the day I handed in my research thesis for my masters. (I was up to a pot a day.) I quit mostly because I was cutting out chemicals from my diet and the only way I could make the coffee sweet enough for my taste was with sweet-n-low. Anyway, I have told this story for years — I graduated in 1996 — you do the math. “I just can’t drink coffee without sweet-n-low”. (Feel free to add a whine and self-pity to that sentence — it was always full of it.) Whenever I tell the story, I also add that I miss it. I love the smell and my husband makes delicious coffee every morning so I smell it a lot. Finally, about a month ago, when I was telling this story for the umpteenth time, my husband said, “You have got to stop telling that story. You have changed so much. Why don’t you try coffee today, right now, with your new consciousness.” I did and I loved it!! I put in a single teaspoon of sugar and I thoroughly enjoyed the flavor. I had told that story for years and it had truly affected me and how I was living.

Granted, the story is insignificant perhaps, but I really got in that moment the power of our stories. What do you tell yourself that is negative about your financial situation? Your job? Your marriage? Your weight? Your business? Your home? Your children? If it is negative or something you don’t like, then rewrite your story. We assume today will be just like yesterday. Today can be completely different if you allow it. You can change on a dime, really. Sometimes it takes longer, but it doesn’t have to. It is really as simple as saying, “I am ready for this to be different.” Then you need to decide what you want, or better yet, how you want to feel, and begin to strive for that feeling. Your story is only a story and it can be changed.

A great start to writing your new story comes from a great book I read awhile ago called, Zero to Zillionaire by Chellie Campbell. She says to write the story of your life so far with only the highlights. Tell about all the wins in your life, all the silver linings. (She also recommends writing your story from the perspective of your losses, but I do not recommend spending any time there — although it is quite illuminating!) Start your day reading of your exploits and see how your day unfolds.

Related Posts:

• Beliefs: Do They Open Doors or Keep You Stuck?
• Life Coaching: What is it?
• Cease to Have Cherished Opinions

Get out of the Box

 

I have been studying the brain lately in reading a book called The Answer by John Assaraf and Murray Smith. Basically the book discusses how our unconscious mind keeps us stuck in our current (usually limiting) way of thinking, stuck in a box. Sometimes the box is pleasant ("My marriage box is lovely!") and sometimes it is mediocre or even very uncomfortable ("My current job is terrible but...I am stuck, I can't leave, I need the money..." -- you know the thoughts!). But it is what we know and there is security in what we know. A step away from the known is scary and we unconsciously (and sometimes consciously) avoid taking the next step. Often we can't even see the next step.

Ready to use your yoga to expand your consciousness? Remember what you do on the mat transfer off the mat and vice versa. Ready to expand out of your box in your job? Marriage? Friendships? You can do it on the mat first. How? Do you always do the same practice or same type of practice? Do you love forward folds and avoid backbends? Do you always want to feel like you’ve worked hard so that your practice “counts”? Do you sit on your mat with no energy and just sit there? Have you done the same 10 poses in the same order for years? Use your practice to break out of the box. Change it up. Do something different! Find a pose you always avoid or one you have never done. Begin to experiment. If you always feel you need a workout, do a restorative practice. If you always do restorative, do something vigorous and get your heart pumping!

Okay, now, does the mere thought of doing something different even for one day bring fear to your heart? That is the sign that you definitely need to do something different!

Ready to Rock Your New Year?:  I have just released my "New Year's Resolutions From the Heart" home study course.  Includes a 40 min podcast with workbook to take you through the three steps for setting Goals from Your Soul:  Letting go of what no longer servies you, Feeling big enough for your dream, and Surrendering with grace and gratitude to the present.  You can also take each step to your yoga mat and add the accompanying podcasts.  Each step has breathing, visualizations and series of asanas to help you.  Ready to rock your new year and let your yoga mat help you?  More information and to order.

Effortless Change

 

 

“The single most important tool to being in balance is knowing that you
and you alone are responsible for the imbalance between
what you dream your life is meant to be,
and the daily habits that drain life from that dream.”
~ Wayne Dyer

Admittedly, this quote is about manifesting, consciously creating your dream. Yet I also use this quote when I consider making changes in my habits, especially when it comes to my yoga practice. Certain habits support who you want to be, where you are going, and other habits keep you stuck in your current place.  I know my yoga practice, meditating, eating well, etc. keep me feeling good and help me grow and evolve.  It is much easier to remain committed when I think in those terms.

Normally when we attempt to affect change in our lives we use sheer will power, making ourselves do something, forcing really. Sometimes the new habit takes root and other times it doesn’t only to leave us feeling as if we have failed. This quote changes everything. What is your dream? How do you want to show up in the world? Do your habits support that dream or drain the life from it? I find, with my heart focused on the dream, it is much easier to make changes in my life, to do what I know supports the dream. In fact, I find the changes come about quite joyfully when I connect them to a higher dream.

Do your habits match with who you are and who you are becoming? What do you really want in your life? Begin to be selective and move yourself closer to your dream each minute of your day.

Ready to Rock Your New Year?:  Join me on Friday, December 16 for New Year's Resolutions From the Heart, a powerful telecass to take you through the three-steps for setting deeper, more profound resolutions to make 2012 your most amazing year ever!  More info and to register.

monday morning musing: gratitude

M U S E  U P O N  T H I S

Step Five:
Feel grateful...

Read More...

I have been sharing the Five Steps (Plus One) to Manifesting Your Extraordinary Life so your life isn't exactly the same in Five Years.  Here are the first four steps and stay tuned for the bonus "Plus One" step coming next week!): through the monday morning musings the past few weeks.

Let's Recap (This is Step Five of the series: How to Manifest Your Extraordinary Life so your life isn't exactly the same in Five Years.  Here are the first four steps and stay tuned for the bonus "Plus One" step coming next week!):

• Step One: Know what you want
• Step Two: Ya Gotta Believe! 
• Step Three: Take Action
• Step Four: Surrender and have faith
• Step Five:  Feeling Grateful
  
• Plus One:  Coming Next Week!

Want to do this program directly with me?  I just released a NEW, powerful, one-one-one program called The Art of Manifesting Your Dreams.  I have taught it to groups with amazing success for years, now you can do it directly with me!  Are you ready to live YOUR Extraordinary Life?  Simply email me with "I'm interested!" in the subject line and we'll get started right away!

feel good moment

One of the best gratitude videos ever!  Follow instructions every day for three days and I guarantee your life WILL be different!  Enjoy!

Effortless Change

“The single most important tool to being in balance is knowing

that you and you alone are responsible for the imbalance between

what you dream your life is meant to be, and the daily habits that drain life from that dream.”

~ Wayne Dyer

 

Admittedly, this quote is about manifesting, consciously creating your dream. Yet I also use this quote when I consider making changes in my habits, especially when it comes to my yoga practice. Certain habits support who you want to be, where you are going, and other habits keep you stuck in your current place. I know my yoga practice, meditating, eating well, etc. keep me feeling good and help me grow and evolve. It is much easier to remain committed when I think in those terms.

Normally when we attempt to affect change in our lives we use sheer will power, making ourselves do something, forcing really. Sometimes the new habit takes root and other times it doesn’t only to leave us feeling as if we have failed. This quote changes everything. What is your dream? How do you want to show up in the world? Do your habits support that dream or drain the life from it? I find, with my heart focused on the dream, it is much easier to make changes in my life, to do what I know supports the dream. In fact, I find the changes come about quite joyfully when I connect them to a higher dream.

Do your habits match with who you are and who you are becoming? What do you really want in your life? Begin to be selective and move yourself closer to your dream each minute of your day.

A Thought: Is Non-Greed Possible?

One of the philosophical precepts in yogic philosophy is aparigraha,or non-grasping. It is also translated as not reaching for things or non-greed. I want to share a thought with you. I think “non-grasping” is a much harder concept to grasp (interesting choice of words! :-) ) than people first realize. I notice how often spiritual writings speak of not wanting anything, detaching completely from desires, as a step toward self-mastery. Please understand that desiring is part of the human consciousness. As long as we are in our physical body, no matter how high our consciousness goes, we will desire something. (Sri Harold, a God-realized being, often refers to the trials he still encounters as part of his human consciousness.)

I am sure you have noticed your desiring has shifted as you have evolved. You probably no longer see things or other people as the source of your happiness. You may have detached from your work, you belongings, etc. But now you may desire more quiet in your life, less clutter, more free time, a higher consciousness. It is okay to not know what you are desiring right now, but please do not allow the illusion that you have no desire because that is not possible. You may have a more refined desire, but it is there nonetheless. The key to our desire is to not let it be a source of suffering, which would be an attachment to the desires, and that is where aparigraha fits. In trying to deny our desiring we suffer. When desiring is a source of suffering, we are held back in our growth. The purpose of desires is to propel us into more growth. We don’t want to be complacent, we want to constantly desire to evolve further in love, in compassion, in our spiritual awakening.

Here is a great quote from the manifesting works that I feel describes this idea well.

“We would describe the sensation of desire as the delicious awareness of new possibilities. Desire is a fresh, free feeling of anticipating wonderful expansion. The feeling of desire is truly the feeling of life flowing through you. But many people, while they are using the word desire, feel something quite different. Desire for them, often feels like yearning, for while they are focused upon something that they want to experience or have, they are equally aware of its absence. And so, while they are using words of desire, they are offering a vibration of lack. They come to think that the feeling of desire is like wanting something that they do not have. But there is no feeling of lack in pure desire.”
~ Hicks-Abraham

Attachment
Originally uploaded by Mike_tn

What is Your Perfect Life?

When you think of your perfect life, what holds you back? You know there are those niggling doubts there. That part of you that says, "that would be great, but it won't happen for me." Try to get specific. Why can't it happen? What is it you believe that is holding you back? They are just beliefs, that's it. They are there from something someone said to you, the beliefs of your parents, the beliefs of our society. They only serve to limit you. Begin to ask yourself, "why not?" when you hear the doubt rising up. Let the prospect be so exciting it propels you into new and wonderful ways of being.

Oh, God, What Have I Done?

(This is a repost...it came up on Monday's radio show so I thought I would put it out again.  Plus, I found this fabulous photo to go with it this time!  It is actually called "Oh, God, What Have I Done?" only in Italian!  How perfect is that one!) 

An essential step in the manifesting process is realizing your life is completely within your control. The initial feeling tends to be exhilaration; a feeling of, “You mean I can actually have all that I want – all that I have felt bad about not having?” There is such a thrill to realize you aren’t a victim of your circumstances, you can change all that has caused you angst.

Once the initial euphoria has passed, there often comes a time of realization that if all is within your control and it is your responsibility, that means what you have faced in the past, the good and the bad, were attracted by you as well. This stage is what I call, “Oh, God, what have I done?” It can be ugly to look at those things and accept responsibility. It is so much easier to be victim to your negative circumstances, not responsible!

Here’s where perspective comes in handy. I am sure you have been in a tricky situation with another individual in which you could understand what she was thinking even though you didn’t necessarily agree with her. You could see her perspective even though she perhaps couldn’t see yours. You had a higher perspective. In a sense, you could see the situation from above, understanding both parties’ perspectives.

To explain perspective, I like to use the analogy of looking out of a building at a street. When you are in the basement, looking out narrow casement windows, all you see are feet walking around. Your only perspective of the world is feet because that is all you see. You think the entire world consists of merely feet. Now move up to the first floor and look out. First of all, you have larger windows you can see out of; you have a bigger view. You also can see more because you are up higher. Now you see that the feet are connected to people and your view of the world broadens. But you still think the world ends at the end of the block because that is all you can see. Now head to the roof where your vision isn’t obscured by windows at all and you have a full 360 degree view. You can now understand that people are only a small part of this world. You get to see that the road continues way beyond the block. In fact, you can see that the road continues to the horizon.

Now, let’s apply this analogy to your victim/responsibility situation. From the basement window you see your problems as everyone else’s fault. He did this to me. She took advantage of me. You know what it feels like and I am sure you have someone in your life who has this perspective (or even remember you having it as well!). It is extremely negative. From the basement we are victims of circumstances and very little is within our control. It feels horrible down there because your world is very small and very scary because you are at its whim.

Now let’s move to the first floor. At this stage you are able to take responsibility for the ugly in your life as well. This step is excellent and essential to really living fully a life of manifesting. Where we go wrong from this limited first floor perspective is in thinking, “Oh, that means it is my fault.” We were blaming someone else in the basement, now we just shifted the blame to ourselves in a misguided first step to taking responsibility for the ugly things in our life. Shame and self-judgment often accompany this step as well as denial. Often people stop here and just assume manifesting doesn’t apply to these situations (or perhaps hope that it doesn’t apply since the self-judgment is too painful). Taking responsibility for even the “tough stuff” is an essential step to really living the life of your dreams, especially since the “tough stuff” usually represents where you want to change what you are attracting into your life and until you take responsibility, you will never be able to attract better things. You will just continue to be a victim.

Take yourself to the rooftop. It is from the roof that you then can see with a huge perspective. Get yourself above recriminations; the blame of yourself or others. This perspective is way beyond blame. It is about responsibility. From the roof you can say, “Yes, I see this situation is my responsibility. It is not my fault.” I hope you can see the subtle difference. Fault is blame, responsibility is spiritual maturity.

The responsibility is saying that nothing happens in our life without our creating it so I must have created this one. So why would we ever create icky situations? First of all, know that you are not doing it consciously. These messages are being sent out unconsciously, just as your message others are responding to is also unconscious. Let me give you an example. I had a client who wanted a new job. She received an offer quickly from a job she thought was her dream. The offer they came back to her with was so low she felt like it was a kick in her stomach. She thought they weren’t appreciating her and didn’t understand what she needed. I then proceeded to add more to her angst when I said, “So, you attracted this offer. How much do you feel you are worth?” She was initially quite taken aback by the question until she realized that she didn’t feel she was worth much. In fact, she took her special skill set quite for granted. She was a quick learner and changed her attitude in that moment. She received another job offer within two weeks for twice the salary she had been offered in the previous position.

Now, the people involved in setting her offer in the original proposal weren’t sitting around thinking, “What can we do to irritate her? What can we do to squash her self-esteem? How can we take advantage of this situation?” Of course not! They were, though, responding unconsciously to the vibration she was sending out unconsciously.

Okay, so the first step in understanding your responsibility in creating “icky” situations is to realize that you did it unconsciously. Step two is to find the lesson for ourselves. Realize that these situations are here to help us refine the message we are sending out into the world. You are striving to be a better human being with a better life – to be more loving, peaceful, calm, kind, whatever you want for yourself, or to have a partner, great job, better health – that is why you are interested in manifesting in the first place. Negative situations are here to help us learn where we are not sending out an ideal message. My client has refined her self-worth. She actually commented later that shifted her “value” monetarily helped her find other areas in her life she had limited herself.

There is one final benefit to taking responsibility – you can stop the “lessons”. What challenging situation have you had to relive over and over again? My client realized there had been many situations in her life in which she felt others undervalued her. She was being given the opportunity, again and again, to learn that it wasn’t their issue, it was hers. The lessons just became louder and louder until it was the proverbial kick in the stomach she needed to see what she was doing to herself. I often hear people say they attract the same “bad” mate or the same “bad” job. It is the message they send out that brings them the same situations over and over and they will continue to suffer until they change their message.

Remember, it is all good! The things you would define as “bad” or “challenging” are just there to help you make things better. They are gifts of learning and as such are an incredible blessing. Each “icky” situation is a call to refine your message and to make things better and better in your life. Go ahead, take responsibility. See it from the rooftop, be grateful for the opportunity to refine the message you are sending out.

PORT: caraca que q eu fiz!!!! ITA: Cazzo cosa ho fatto!!!!
Originally uploaded by Stefano_Tupyniquim

Spiritual Materialism Question

I had this wonderful question from a reader after I first marketed my Manifesting Course. It is such a fabulous question and one I know many of us grapple with:

"I am interested but am confused with this idea...
how does this balance against ideas of spiritual materialism
and grasping and going against accepting what is? Can you speak to this?"

Here is my response:

We limit ourselves in innumerable ways by our limiting thoughts and beliefs. Not only do we limit ourselves in what we have, we can also limit ourselves in how much spiritual evolution we allow, in how far we go to fulfill our life’s purpose, in how much we love (limiting ourselves with intimate partners as well as with friends and family) thereby limiting how much joy we experience in this life as well as how much Divine love we accept in. We define ourselves, and therefore, our life by our fears and limitations, not by what we are capable of and how expansive and abundant we are.

Now, I also want to point out that none of us does this in every area of our life. In fact, most people do many parts of their life very well and don’t even know they are doing well. I see five major areas in our lives: relationships, career, money, health, safety. Most of us do three or even four really well and one or two languish. And they languish due to our limiting beliefs and fears that have created the reality that is in front of us. For example, I had a client who is very open in relationships and was almost there with money and career when we first began working together. In love, in her words, she had been married to her “best friend” for 15 years. She liked her job, but it wasn’t fabulous because she worked very hard to make the money she made. With minimal tweaking, we perfected her job. She was working 50 percent less and making more money than ever. Moreover, she is a consultant, and once she let go of her fear around the money, she had no problem “manifesting” more clients whenever she is ready for more. (She turns down at least half of the offers that come to her.) Everything seems wonderful, and it is, until you look at her health. She has numerous health issues and many fears about her health. Her fears around her health keep her from living her life fully and being all that she can be in this life.

The more I do around this, the more I release my limiting beliefs and fears and experience more joy and love. I see the whole process as being about learning how to let the energy of life, love, flow into and through us out to others. Fears and limiting beliefs allow the fears to either run into us and not out or we let it flow out without letting it in (or sometimes it can’t flow in our out). The work of manifesting opens us up to allowing it all to flow right through us. It also helps us live from our Higher Self, not our ego. Our ego works to limit us. Our Higher Self wants only the very best.

Plus, “desire” is perfectly normal in the physical. We not only desire things, we also desire better jobs, better relationships, better environments, even better weather! :-) Even the Dalai Lama desires peace with the Chinese. But two things come to mind when we think of desire. First, when we desire, there is an assumption of not being content with what is nor grateful. But to truly be in a manifesting state, you need to feel grateful for what you currently have. “That is the optimal creative vantage point: To stand on the brink of what is coming, feeling eager, optimistic anticipation — with no feeling of impatience, doubt or unworthiness hindering the receiving of it...” (Abraham-Hicks)

The second is, we normally “desire” from a place of scarcity, assuming we can’t have whatever it is. We envy others what they have and that sets off suffering. But what if you could have whatever it is? What if, instead of envy, we felt, “hmmm...if they have it, it is just proof that I can have it too.” What if desire was delicious and exciting and spurred you on in an inspired and love-filled way? “We would describe the sensation of desire as the delicious awareness of new possibilities. Desire is a fresh, free feeling of anticipating wonderful expansion. The feeling of desire is truly the feeling of life flowing through you.”

Ironically, doing this work has freed me to be more content with my present because it now feels truly transient (as all physical reality is). I feel more in control of my world with my control coming from the right place. I am now controlling myself with love rather than trying to control my outer world.

Limiting Beliefs

Let's discuss the mental blocks or resistance you may have to creating what you want. Our primary block for creating is limiting beliefs; believing you can’t do it. Limiting beliefs show up as “yeah buts”. I could do it, but… I could have it, but… I could see it, but… You know them. All of us have them in some area of our life. Those who don’t have many (or perhaps any limiting beliefs) are those whose life seems to be charmed. Everything works out with ease for them. Instead of seeing that and feeling envious, now you can think, “hey, they did it. It’s possible which means I can do that too!”

So, how do you move beyond a limiting belief? One incredibly simplistic way is by decluttering.  You may still be stumped on the connection there – limiting beliefs and clutter? It is true.  Let's look at my home office. I had many limiting beliefs around the extent to how far my career could take me. The “noise” and limitations showed up as clutter in my office. Let’s just say the clutter kept me from having to look more deeply, it kept me disconnected. When I realized it, though, I was still frozen into inaction and could not seem to clear the clutter. In comes a professional organizer. In a matter of 2 hours, my entire outlook had changed. Really, it is that powerful.

Look at your house. Is there clutter in certain areas? What are your beliefs in the areas that house represents? Is your kitchen a mess? How do you feel about your talent as a cook? I recently had a client (who is working on manifesting her perfect mate) resolutely claim that she has no resistance to finding a mate. Then she realized her bedroom is a complete, cluttered mess. Her bedroom represents a relationship to her. She “got” how she was limiting herself and it was represented in clutter. Can you tell I have a firm belief around clutter? I hadn’t meant to discuss it for so long here. What I like most about clutter is it is relatively tangible so it tends to be a good place to start.