I'm Freakin' Freakin' Out!

I just texted this to some friends.  Surprised?  Shocked even?  I am always amused by people who think I have it all put together, that I am done with my work and can now pass on all my worldly wisdom to everyone else.  Ha!  I am human and I have my work to do, too.

I am on the precipice of a huge release, something I have been holding back on for about a year.  It is just an e-course and I've certainly released things before.  But this release is bigger for me.  It represents taking my career to the next level.  It brings up thoughts like: "Am I good enough."  "Will they like me?"  "What if no one buys it?" and, in the same thought, "Oh, my God, what if everyone buys it?"

Yep, you heard it, I have those fears, too, and this program is bringing them up in spades. I'm not even comfortable in my own skin right now.  I am suppose to be doing my financials, the work I do on Friday morning but I can't sit still enough to do them.  I have cleaned out a closet, talked to friends, paced my office, and now putting it down for you all to read.  

We all have a "greatest fear" and mine is around whether I am good enough to do what I do.  It's funny, I will think about something I have written or created and muse, "Ack, it's just not that good" and the thought is almost a relief.  Then I read it and think, "Oh, my God, it is so good!" in almost a panic.

When we stretch ourselves far enough in our area of fear, we are bound to freak out occasionally.  The key is to call it what it is -- just a stretch -- and keep going.

So, what am I to do? I've already turned to friends I can say, "I'm freakin' freakin' out!" and they know how to talk me off my cliff.  I am also going to exercise to get some of this nervous energy out of me.  And then I am going to release my program next week, all horns blaring.  I know I can.  I know I am strong enough.  And you know what else?  It still scares the crap out of me.

Here's to freakin' freakin' out...and knowing that this, too, shall pass.

 

Comments

[Karen]

LOVE!!!!!!

[Cynthia]

You totally rock. Thank you for sharing a part of you that we can all relate to. I am not happy you were freaking out but it's also nice to hear I'm not alone in my occasional freak-outedness.

xoxox

[MuseLaura]

Cynthia,

Happy to have you with me!! Let's do this thing!

L

[Audrey Erdman]

You've been peekin' in my windows! I like the one-a-day idea--that's do-able!!!! (and, yes, I mean 3!'s)

[Rebecca Kajander]

I have NO doubt you will stretch yourself to share your gifts with the universe.
Just Do It. And let others decide if it is useful for them.
Love to you
Becky

[liz]

xoxo you rock...you are more than enough....a gift to so many....thank you for all of your sharing....peace