Laura Erdman-Luntz, MA, E-RYT(500) | Yoga | Yoga Teacher Training | Minnesota | Costa Rica | Life Coaching

I'm Freakin' Freakin' Out!

I just texted this to some friends.  Surprised?  Shocked even?  I am always amused by people who think I have it all put together, that I am done with my work and can now pass on all my worldly wisdom to everyone else.  Ha!  I am human and I have my work to do, too.

I am on the precipice of a huge release, something I have been holding back on for about a year.  It is just an e-course and I've certainly released things before.  But this release is bigger for me.  It represents taking my career to the next level.  It brings up thoughts like: "Am I good enough."  "Will they like me?"  "What if no one buys it?" and, in the same thought, "Oh, my God, what if everyone buys it?"

Yep, you heard it, I have those fears, too, and this program is bringing them up in spades. I'm not even comfortable in my own skin right now.  I am suppose to be doing my financials, the work I do on Friday morning but I can't sit still enough to do them.  I have cleaned out a closet, talked to friends, paced my office, and now putting it down for you all to read.  

We all have a "greatest fear" and mine is around whether I am good enough to do what I do.  It's funny, I will think about something I have written or created and muse, "Ack, it's just not that good" and the thought is almost a relief.  Then I read it and think, "Oh, my God, it is so good!" in almost a panic.

When we stretch ourselves far enough in our area of fear, we are bound to freak out occasionally.  The key is to call it what it is -- just a stretch -- and keep going.

So, what am I to do? I've already turned to friends I can say, "I'm freakin' freakin' out!" and they know how to talk me off my cliff.  I am also going to exercise to get some of this nervous energy out of me.  And then I am going to release my program next week, all horns blaring.  I know I can.  I know I am strong enough.  And you know what else?  It still scares the crap out of me.

Here's to freakin' freakin' out...and knowing that this, too, shall pass.

 

A Little Step...

A Thought: Today

A Coaching Thought: What if...

 

Usually our "What ifs..." are rife with fear and doom.  What if...you use them for good?  What if this turns out better than you though?  Use your "What ifs" to take you more deeply into the life you dream of, not to keep you away from it.

The Point of Our Yoga Practice

"And this is the point of spiritual practice:

To make us teachable,
to open our hearts
and focus our awareness so that we can 
know what we already know,
and be who we already are."


~Rolf Gates

A Thought: An Ever-Changing Yoga Personal Pratice

Poses differ daily. 
Sometimes you know why, sometimes you don't. 
Our task is to listen and honor where we are right now,
not where it was yesterday or where we wish it to be.

A Thought: To Discern Without Judgment

Can you evaluate what you need to work on in a pose without judgment?  To be able to assess what we need to work on is a necessary and helpful skill when you are on a path of self-discovery.  We need to be able to figure out what to work on next to grow and evolve.  Yet that assessment can be full of judgment and criticism and when it is, we will be stuck!  Let your assessment simply be, "hmmm...isn't that interesting?"

A Thought: Who You Are in a Yoga Pose

"Remember, it doesn't matter how deep into a posture you go --

what does matter is who you are when you get there.

~max strom

A Thought: Limitations in Your Yoga Practice are Merely Self-Imposed

In tonight’s class I taught, I had an interesting thought I shared with my students. Do you often go into a pose assuming it will look exactly as you did it last time? I am guessing there are a few poses in which you do. Personally, basic standing poses such as Warrior II and Triangle Poses are my weak spot. I just plop myself into my usual position and hang out there until I think it is time to go to the other side. I don’t even try to take myself more deeply. I just assume my pose will look the same today as it did yesterday and it will tomorrow.

When I realized what I was doing, it made me think. Where else in my life do I just plunk myself down and assume I have gone as far as I can go? There are so many places we can limit ourselves in what we have – happiness (really, test yourself – being happier than you are comfortable with can be incredibly uncomfortable and we usually only allow it for brief periods), love, money, career, health, even the number of vacations or where we go on our vacations (or whether we go on vacation)! Where in your life do you feel a bit stale? Is it time to blow past a self-imposed limitation?

You see, the irony of physical limitations is they are often merely  perceived. What I mean is you can move beyond your “wall”, which is, in fact, merely a speed bump. Our flexibility is tied mostly to our consciousness. If you think you are tight, guess what? You are right! If you think you can loosen up and move past your inflexibility or weakness, guess what? You are right, too. If you think you can move past your current health crisis, guess what? You are right! Maybe it is time to blow past a few of those limitations and experience the joy on the other side…

A Thought: Your Everyday Practice

If your everyday practice is open to all your emotions,
to all the people you meet, to all the situations you encounter,
without closing down, trusting that you can do that --
then that will take you as far as you can go.

~ Pema Chodron

 

open door
Originally uploaded by Happy Jumper ()